THE NATURE OF BOATS:
A Political Parable
By David Oliver-Godric
Three men in a boat, far at sea. A woodpecker sits on the top of the mast. Every day the bird flies down and pecks holes in the boat. The men then bustle about: one bails water; one fixes the hole; one proclaims, “It is the nature of this boat to grow holes. It is pointless to keep fixing them.” While the men are busy, the bird flies down and steals some of their food and water.
Days go by and the men grow weaker. Sensing this, the bird pecks two holes and steals more of the food and water. Each day thereafter he pecks one more hole than the day before. Finally, the man who bails water says, “The woodpecker is the cause of all our trouble.” The man who fixes holes answers, “We should climb the mast and kill the woodpecker.” The third man repeats, “It is just the nature of this boat to grow holes. It is no use trying to stop it.”
The first two look at each other and reply, “It is quicker and easier to fix the holes and bail water than to climb all the way to the top of the mast and kill the bird, which would be just wrong anyway. Besides, it might just fly away for a while then come right back as soon as we climb back down. It is useless to try to kill the woodpecker.”
More days pass and the woodpecker pecks many more holes. The man patching is running out of ways to plug them. Both he and the man who bails now constantly complain about the holes and the water and the bird.
Suddenly the man who claims it is the nature of boats to grow holes exclaims, “Oh for cryin’ out loud! I’m sick and tired of hearing about the holes and the water and the woodpecker! I can’t stop the holes from growing, and I won’t bail water, but by God, I can get rid of the woodpecker!” He leaps up, cuts the ropes to the mast, and saws it right off at the deck. It falls into the water and drifts away behind the boat. The bird, out of habit, lands back on the floating mast.
The men never have another hole, and in fact reach land shortly thereafter.
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