UPDATES Alliance edit and Zephyr

So, the first versions of Alliance Metamorphosis, first book in the series, was written in third person with an omniscient narrator. It was clunky. I kept banging away at it because the story is great, but I have been despairing that I could make it a captivating read. Brainstorming with an editor who has seen the original, I decided to try first person present, alternating the narrative point of view between Midnight and Hawk. Bingo! Eureka! YES!!! I've cleaned up the clunky prose and filled a lot of additional description into it. What a difference. Here's an excerpt:

            We are all tired. The attack has given us renewed energy, for a at least a few days. The refugees are sure now that they have made the right choice, but it has been a hard march. The elders are not used to this level of exertion, and the young have lots of energy, for a while, but are often tired from the sustained travel. There have been no more incidents, just the trail that has begun to seem endless to all of us.

            I recognize the three white stones beside the trail that mark Hawk's Camp, smiling at the memories. I’m excited to see what Hawk has accomplished at Highwater. I haven't let myself think too hard about Hawk. I miss him terribly, but I’ve had to keep focused on my other family and the refugees, and get there, safely.

            Debating whether to push on and arrive after dark, or camp once more and rest for the night, I decide to ask the refugees and call a halt. They all just drop to the ground to rest. Nosey climbs out of his bag and drops to the ground. After a few minutes, Seabird and Boomer come in from their scout routes. I wave them over to me. Half the troop is asleep with their packs still on by the time they get to me. 

            Gesturing towards the three stones, "We are most of a day out yet." I scan the refugees. More are asleep now. "Do we push on, or camp here?" Boomer and Seabird both say, "Camp." I nod, and they set about rousing everyone, and getting them moved off the trail. I show them the hide, and suggest the young children sleep inside. They will all just fit. Some of the people volunteer to gather wood. Our food is almost gone, but we have enough for everyone to have a small meal. The scouts have dropped a few rabbits and birds during the day. One of the mothers is getting a fire going with twigs and bark chips.

Several others spread out to forage what they can find to eat in the area. Seabird and Boomer go hunting, along with the men with new bows, and a few more that have brought theirs. A couple of women build three more fire pits and get them lit. I don't object. We are close enough to safety that there won't be any more enemy scouts lurking around, and if there are, there are several good people with weapons roaming the woods right now, looking for prey.

            The hunters bring back a good meal. It’s too early for hibernation, and the other animals are out and about all the time. We feed as well as we can and sleep well. The war has become real to all of us, so no one falls asleep on watch.

Zephyr is complete! A new Fantasy/Sci-fi Novella.

Tallis Boone finds an ancient native mask while cleaning up her yard after a wild spring storm on the Oregon coast. She looks through its eyes and sees thousands more masks flying through space, towards her! Frightened, she pushes the mask away and hides it in her basement. She doesn't know it yet, but this is her first brush with the last of the ancient Masks of Power.

It's the beginning of an adventure that will impact everyone on Earth, and beyond, saving billions of beings from certain death, while empowering the first peoples of the Americas, since they are the only mask makers left. All they need is a blueprint, and the galaxy is theirs. 

Chapter 18

            “Tom, don’t talk yet.” I’m feeling his body next to mine, never sure it’s real, but it feels real. “Are you real?”

            “Um, can’t you tell?”

            “Hmmmm, something does feel familiar.”

            “I can’t help that. You feel so good, so... solid. I’ve been...not so solid for a long time.”

            “Way too fucking long. Shut up and kiss me.”

            I feel another body slam into the thing that is Tom and me. I look down and see a tousled head beside us, Alice. We stay like that for a while.

            “Um, there’s a couple of us that really want to know what just happened.”

            I come up from the honey jar that is the three of us. “Yeah, I want answers too.” I push Tom away, not really wanting to, and not letting go, but I get it. “Tom! Front and center. Folks here want answers, and you’re the one that’s got ‘em.”

            Tom straightens his clothes that got a bit mussed. I straighten my own and step towards the people. “This is my husband, Tom. He went into the mask,” I turn to Tom, “right?”

            “Yes.”

            “Ok. And he’s back. I have questions, you have questions. I will now shut up and step back so y’all can interrogate him and we will all know what the hell just happened here.”

            Tom stands up straight, tucks his shirt back in from when I accidentally tried to take it off of him a minute ago. “Hi everybody! I’m Tom, if you hadn’t got that. I’m Tallis’s other half. Yes, I went into the mask. I met a woman named Sue, who told me what was going on here, and that Tallis was coming after me. I figured the smart thing to do was to come back. I probably don’t have all the answers you’re looking for, but I have some. The masks are a portal that goes both ways. Coming back is easy, if the mask has been here and still exists. The problem is that most of the masks have been destroyed by invaders from somewhere. It’s not just us though. The enemy came to our galaxy from outside. They fed on the masks, for the energy, we think. The one here hid. It is the last from our world. But...we can make new ones. That was what I went after. Several designs are imprinted in my memory. We just need to start making them, and we can reclaim all those that were lost. Got any mask makers here?”

            About a dozen hands slam up.

            “We’ve got work to do.”

            I put my hands on my hips and got right in his face. “Not just yet you don’t. I need some personal time.” I consider. “Two days. Then we can go to work. Not before.”

            I grin at the cackles from most of the women. They knew what I was talking about.